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Thursday, January 13, 2011

Disappointment

Disappointment barely touches my feelings today finding out that I am not one of the 10 semi-finalists in the Operation First Novel contest.  I tried to prepare for it, but it still stings.  I must admit a few tears slipped out and I spent the afternoon recovering at Golden Spoon and Payless Shoesource with my homeschooled daughter. 

I promised to take you on this ride with me, good or bad, so I had to come here and show my sleeves- emotions and all.  It's not that I had any delusions of grandeur, but I have to confess that I harbored dreams of adding "OFN semi-finalist" to my one-sheet, even dreams of winning.  Those dreams have kept me company for so many months now that their disappearance feels awkward and unfamiliar and I grieve the loss of them.  But disappointment is part of the journey.  I know this.  I also know that tomorrow or the next day I'll get to that place where I bolster my resolve and start gearing up to wow everybody at the conference.  I'll pull out my manuscript and comb over it again.  I'll tweak my synopsis till my brain hurts.  I'll memorize my elevator-pitch. I'll tell myself that for all I know, I was number 11. I'll smack myself around a bit and then press forward.  I always knew this wasn't my one and only shot. 

But still...

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Awe, so sorry Michelle :( But as you say, it's not your only shot. Just keep at it! Love you!

Marilyn

Michelle Massaro said...

Thanks Marilyn!

Jill said...

Yup, I know that kind of disappointment. And it never gets any better, I'm sorry to say. It just wears off faster these days. I'm sorry. It seems like you have the right attitude, though.

Anonymous said...

Sending hugs. I'll bet everyone of the finals have files and files of rejection letters paving their way, as do all published authors. But we so understand the sting! Keep your head up and your eyes on God. He's not finished with you yet!

Michelle Massaro said...

Thank you for your encouragement, it means so much to me. Today is already better, and I'm hoping to indeed start poring over my materials and move forward.

Cyber-hugs to you all!

Rose McCauley said...

Michelle, I truly feel your pain as I have received 3 rejections this past week. I once heard someone say you should celebrate all your rejections because it means you are sending your book out there! But I do know it is hard. And as your article on my blog today stated we need to remember why we write and Who we write for!

Michelle Massaro said...

Thank you so much, Rose! It's so nice to have a community of people who understand what it feels like and can come along side you and encourange you. =)

Terri Tiffany said...

I am so sorry. I know this feeling well, but hopefully you will shake it fast and look for the next opportunity:)

Kris Van Hook said...

I know the Lord has plans for this book and for you as an author. Even this disappointment is part of His plan and I know He will use it to further use you. Trust in what He has given to you........the writing ability, the story you told, the passion and motivation He has placed in your heart. Even a few loaves and fishes become a feast for thousands in His hands and He will fulfill all the plans and purposes He intended when He put this story on your heart and told it through your pen. He will use it to touch lives for Him, His timing, His way, His will! Love you!

Michelle Massaro said...

Thank you both so much!! =) {{HUGS}}

Brooke R. Busse said...

Hey, Michelle. ^^ I just wanted you to know that I've given you a few awards.
http://brookerbusse.blogspot.com/2011/01/awards.html
Thanks. Hope this cheers you up.

Shawn said...

Just want you to know that your book is excellent and I know that the Lord is going to use it to touch many lives! Don't be discouraged. He has a plan, a purpose and a timing.