3 Ways to Balance Writing and the Fam

Today for Whatevah Wednesday I thought I'd share a few ways I am seeking balance.  I don't want my first ministry--my husband and kids--to suffer for the sake of my ministry of writing. 

Our whole lives are the sum of our days, right? So my goal at the end of each day is to hear God say, "Well done, good and faithful servant." How can we stay focused on His will for our role in our family while being a writer? Here are 3 practical things I am trying to be better at (I'd love to hear yours):

1) When the kids and/or hubby is home, tend to important emails quickly and then turn off the monitor.  That way you aren't tempted to keep checking all your social media sites every time you walk by the computer.

2) Even if it seems counter-productive, if you are awake before the rest of your family, use that time to pray and read your Bible.  Trying to get a jump on your day by attending to emails, blog posts, or editing that extra page never works to leave you more family time later in the day.  Inevitably, any extra time created will get sucked into the vortex of the web. But spending time with the Top Family Member, your Heavenly Father, will always benefit your efforts to keep your priorities in line and focus your heart where it needs to be.

3) Choose to give up TV time to write, rather than sacrifice time with your spouse and/or kids.  Are you often asking your kids to wait to talk to you until you are done writing that chapter/page/etc? Too much waiting and you'll find they are grown and your time having them in your lap is ending.  Likewise your spouse may have grown accustomed to playing second-fiddle and a chasm will have developed between you. Instead, give them their time and write when you'd normally watch Biggest Loser.  Catch the highlights or just watch the weigh-in on Tivo. ;-)

Of course there will be times when you do need to ask for support from your family and they will have to give you time and freedom to write, but by keeping things in perspective, limiting distractions, and giving them the best of you, those times will be of a more reasonable frequency.  You won't have guilt about the way you have structured your life, your family will be closer-knit, and you will be honoring God.

What practical ways do you keep family your sacred priority above your writing?  Let the rest of us hear your thoughts and experiences!

5 Writing Lessons Learned From Coffee

How can a good book be like a cup 'o joe, you ask? The answer is in your mug, young grasshopper...

1) Rich

Details add color to your story-world and make it rich. Don't settle for flat secondary characters or nondescript settings. Even place-holding personalities can be witty and engaging. And giving realistic background to your plot will leave your reader feeling like they've really been there and wanting to return long after they finish the read.

2) Relaxing
Don't make your readers work to make sense of your novel. Learn grammar and punctuation rules, don't give your characters similar-sounding names, don't head-hop, to name a just a few things that can confuse and overwhelm your audience.

3) Dark
A good book will have moments of darkness. The darker the low points of your character, the brighter and higher the emotional payoff will be when they triumph. Don't be afraid to torture your characters. The reader's relief when the suffering finally breaks will be all the sweeter for it.



4) Energizing

I'm awake!

Don't let your readers fall asleep. Your book should wake up their emotions and keep them up late into the night. Nail your openings: First line, first paragraph, first chapter. Make sure every chapter begins with a new hook and ends with tension. And of course, make sure your plot is riveting, your dialogue sparkling.

5) Good to the last drop
Keep your readers turning pages and make them mourn the words The End. Flesh out your characters till they become real, throw them into conflict the reader is dying to see them through, and find that perfect ending that satisfies yet leaves them craving more.

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And that is how you can apply the principals of your java to your novel.

Happy brewing!

**Drawing winner will be chosen later this afternoon.  And on Monday you'll be meeting my crazy friend Jessica Patch.  Hope to see you soon!

10 Clichés in Today’s Fiction

Happy Monday! Real quick I want to let you know that I’m over at Jessica Patch’s blog today and would love it if you stopped by there and said hello. Also, Wednesday I’ll be talking about Deep POV at Edie Melson’s site, The Write Conversation.

And now I bring you my personal Top Ten clichés found in today’s fiction. Some are classic clichés and others are personal pet peeves.
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10) Punching buttons.

Is everyone in your story punching buttons? Do they punch in every phone number; punch the elevator button, etc? This is losing its freshness. Use sparingly.

9) Too many adverbs
This isn’t new but is still a trap I see authors falling into, particularly new authors. Do a document search for “-ly” words and see if you can find a replacement verb instead of using the adverb. I.e. Instead of “walked quickly”, use “scrambled”.

8) Raven-black hair
No comment needed.

7) Never using the word ‘said’
‘Said’ is an invisible word. If you must use a dialogue tag, ‘said’ is preferred to “breathed, huffed, etc”.

6) Characters rolling their eyes
Not only is this cliché, it’s not terribly accurate. A full eye-roll is rare. But semantics aside, try to find another way to display your character’s attitude. Reserve eye-rolls for an occasional teen response or when another expression just will not do the job. Use it as a last resort.

5) Your MC describes themselves for the reader by looking in a mirror.

Oy vey! Mirrors have their place, but please. Most of us don’t wake up every morning and ponder our auburn curls, honey colored eyes with golden flecks, admire our high cheekbones or bemoan our double chin (ok maybe we do with that one). But you get the idea. There’s something to be said for allowing room for the reader to fill in the blanks with their own imagination too. Personally, I want an idea what the character looks like but I don’t want to work at putting every freckle and scar into place in my mind’s eye. It’s too much work. Mirror or no mirror.

 

4) Noticing eye color from across the room.

People, I have a bone to pick with you. I often can’t tell someone’s eye color even when having a face-to-face conversation with them, unless I make a point to really look. And you’re telling me that your MC noted the shade and brilliance and every colored fleck in someone’s eyes from across the restaurant? In my humble opinion, not every character needs their eye color revealed. It’s one of the last things we know about our own friends, honestly. What color eyes do I have? What about your kid’s kindergarten teacher or your pastor—do you know without checking? Mmm hmm. (Disclaimer: There are legitimate times to notice eye color. During a romantic embrace perhaps, or when a character does have eyes that are uniquely bright blue. But don’t make every character fit this bill.)

3) Characters who “gaze” at everything.
I don’t know when this trend picked up so much momentum but this one has really gotten under my skin. I use the word too, but I try very hard not to overuse it. I won’t give you a book quote because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. But if you put this word on your radar next time you pick up a new release, it will jump out at you.

2) “Cupping” things
This is just a personal thing but it is high on my list because it just makes me cringe. There is nothing in the industry that says to avoid this word, but I would love it banned. It just makes me feel icky. Maybe it has something to do with bra shopping, I don’t know. Just be forewarned if I ever crit for you and see this word it will be replaced.

1) “Verbicizing” of nouns
My number one pet peeve, born I believe out of the passion for active voice, is the verbicizing of nouns and adjectives. (This term was coined, I believe, by miss Phoenix Sullivan in a previous post.) You know what I mean, right? A poor example is hands "fisting" rather than balling INTO fists. Or how about ‘he treed the cat’ instead of ‘he chased the cat into a tree’. Her hair "rivered" over her shoulders. I’m all about word economy but not when the result sounds weird. What’s next: It was so cold her lips blued? It must stop! If you find yourself thinking this is a nifty way to cut your word count, please step back and assess whether the phrase works or just sounds odd. Ask a reader (not a writer). We write for them, right? It doesn’t matter if our author friends love a neat trick to convey a line succinctly if the reader wants to laugh out loud, throw the book against a wall, or simply feels pulled out of the story by the unfamiliar use of English. For the love of all things good and decent in this world, please don’t do this.


So there you have my Top Ten. Feel free to disagree with the opinions expressed in this post. I hope I haven’t offended anybody. If you are gazing at your computer screen, ready to punch in a reply, and find yourself cupping a piece of rotten fruit to chuck at me, please don’t; it will only muck up your computer screen anyway. *grin*

 

What about you—what are your literary pet peeves?