Fiction Friday: Does Fiction Fuel Discontent?

Awhile back, I came across an interesting idea that I personally had never encountered. The idea that reading fiction--romance in particular--can be damaging to one's spousal relationship, or I suppose, one's general psyche, because it glamorizes an unobtainable ideal.

It took me aback. How else are we to experience the sigh-worthy experiences that we'll never run into while shopping at Target or driving the minivan? Where else are we to find that warm, satisfying inspiration that makes us love everyone around us just a little more than before? How can we know anything beyond our limited existance if we don't step into other shoes through fiction? And aren't we repeatedly told to foster a love for reading into our kids from the time they are conceived?

Yet, it gave me pause. How often has a wife read a book featuring a hero with impossibly good looks, muscles upon muscles, fierce protective instincts that have him always arriving in the nick of time to save the heroine from the kidnapper holding a gun or the spider crawling along the floor, yet tender enough to shed a tear as he expresses the depth of his love . . . and then closed the book, looked at her real-life husband and thought "if only"?

I can see a point here. It could set up a standard that is just as impossible to reach for real-life men as the airbrushed photos of surgically-enhanced women are for us to match. Is there an in-between, a personal balance?

I have some thoughts on this, but I'd like to hear yours. What do you think?

Whatevah Wednesday: Family Vacations



I didn't take this picture, but I'll post some soon.



As you read this, I am at Sea World San Diego. With a family of six, we've never had the typical vacation involving 7-day stays somewhere out-of-state, plane rides, etc. (My kids have never been on a plane.) Last year, we visited the Grand Canyon. This year, we decided to drive the 85 miles to San Diego. Yesterday we visited the Zoo, then we stayed in a hotel (two rooms were necessary) for one night, and today culminates with watery fun before we go home tonight. What always floors me is how expensive everything is. Even our overnight excursion is sure to cost us close to $1,000 and could easily surpass that figure if we did suvenires (sorry kids). Here's the breakdown: 

• $180- entrance for all of us to zoo (with no discounts, free parking)
• $250- entrance to Sea World after discount coupon ($20 off per ticket)
• $12 - Sea World parking
• $75- hotel (after using hotel points. Two rooms would have been a lot more)
• $75- gasoline
• $300- food (The way I figure it, with six people and high temps, we'll have several drink purchases both days in addition to meals. And treats. Maybe this is a little high but I'd rather be prepared.)  

This is already almost $900, and we'll probably get some sort of souvenir for each kid, even if it's just a keychain. And since my son missed his school registration day, we'll be paying higher rates for his yearbook and ASB card. Oh, and my husband needed a new pair of walking shoes before tackling this adventure. He stopped at Payless the night before we left but I'm counting it as a vaca expense.

It's hard to believe how quick the money goes. I dream of taking the family to Hawaii, but it might take a winning lottery ticket to get us there. Still, we have fun on these little trips. And hopefully they appreciate the time together and learn not to take life's pleasures for granted. One of my most cherished memories is from three years ago when we went to Sea World and were able to get in the water with a dolphin. It was amazing, but not cheap! Those kinds of things are few and far between for us but that's what makes them special.
 

Amy, Kaitlyn, me, Brandon, Mike 2008


What about you? What family trips are your favorite, or what great deals have you found for stretching those vacation dollars?

Pass The Tissues, Please...

This week COTT is focusing on gut-wrenching passages, which are some of my favorites! So it got me wondering, why do we so enjoy reading those scenes that tear our hearts out and end with an empty box of tissues? 

Most of us already know about stress hormones and how they build up in the body, causing all kinds of problems. According to one article I read, emotionally-induced tears contain protein-based hormones as well as leucine enkephalin, a natural painkiller. So "a good cry" flushes all those stress hormones out of our system.

Well, the science is all fine and dandy but I still wanted some experiental answers. Here's what some of you had to say:

Diana Prusik: Tears are cathartic. There's nothing like a good cry during a touching scene . . except for a good cry followed by laughter. (Think Sally Fields' stellar graveside scene in Steel Magnolias. Poor Ouiser!) Something about reading or watching a scene like that feels emotionally cleansing.

Brian Heffron agrees: Catharsis

Barbara Robinson: Because a book has to touch us emotionally or it's nothing to us. It must evoke reader emotions. If I don't feel anything when I read a book, the book is not any good, and I wouldn't finish it.

Christine Lindsay: I think we need to cry as much as we need to smile and laugh. Although when we cry, it's because we are always reaching out for hope. That this sad situation will not remain, but that the sun will shine again. It's about hope.

Jessica Patch: God designed us to connect with others. The bible says rejoice when others rejoice and weep when others weep. We're built to care. We want to. Real life or fiction, we're drawn to it and good writing makes us feel like it's real even when it's not.

Those are some great answers! What about you? Why do you love those gut-wrenching scenes? (Or if not, why don't you care for them?)

My School Monday: Reading List

Last year we did very little reading, I must confess. I forced Kait to struggle through Swiss Family Robinson even though she hated it, and she also read Homer for history. But it was awful, and when we finally got through those I gave up and focused on other areas.

So we'll have some catching up to do, and I've been compiling a list of books I'd like her to read this year. I tried to remember what I read back in Jr High, and I want to give her a variety because she hates books from "the olden days" (i.e. anything earlier than the 1950's.) I doubt we'll get through all the books on my list (which will probably continue to grow) but I have thought of some great books I'd like to have on hand. Here they are, in no particular order:

• Where the Red Fern Grows
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Pride and Prejudice
• Little Women
• Adventures of Huck Finn
• Diary of Anne Frank
• Black Beauty
• The Chronicles of Narnia
• Pilgrims Progress

The red ones are those I hope will actually awaken a fondness for reading. In addition to the above narratives, I also want to have her read How To Win Friends And Influence People. By the title, that sounds like such a manipulative book. But anyone who has read it knows it's really a peek into the human heart and mind, and helps us understand how to relate to people and how to express our needs effectively. It's a fascinating book that I believe should be required reading in every school across the nation.

What do you think of my list? Would you add a book? Scratch one? What have your kids read in Jr High?